Worried that I might be a hipster I did some research and after a good meta-analysis of the topic I have distilled what I have learned into this very useful Hipster Detection Test.

Category I (A "yes" answer to any of these questions is worth 1 point)

1. Do you have a mustache in a month of the year other than November and are not a member of law enforcement (there is a fascinating legal and cultural reason for the mustache--law enforcement connection leading back to a famous Supreme Court case)?

2. Do you own a Newsies-style hat?

3. Have you received your first non-military tattoo in the last seven years?

4. Do you have thick black frame glasses?

5. Do you find pot bellies slightly attractive, especially if the person has legs that are wrist-skinny?

Category II (A "yes" answer to any of these questions is worth 3 points)

1. Did you discover Filson in the last five years?

2. Do you own a pair of jeans that tapers towards the ankle?

3. Do you wear wrist bands of any kind other than a watch?

4. Do you like the look of a vintage "Woody" Jeep?

5. Have you participated in any of the following: Tough Mudder, Spartan Race, or any other torture/endurance race?

Category III (A "yes" answer to any of these questions is worth 5 points)

1. Do you like craft beer?

2. Do you have a beard longer than two inches?

3. Do you regularly ride on a fixed-gear bike?

4. Do you consider city parks the great outdoors?

5. Do you occassionally not shower for more than two days in a row while sleeping in a normal bed (i.e. mattress and boxsprings)?

Category IV (A "yes" answer to any of these questions is worth 1,000,000 points)

1. Have you ever purchased any of the following: an axe with a brightly colored painted handle, an extension cord covered in cloth, a tool box that is painted red and costs $75, a Sebenza at more than MSRP, or any item colored "Famous Red."

Score Guide:

0-5 points: The Hipster stink is about you, be careful. You can still turn this around. Go to Target and buy a cheap digital watch.

6-10 points: Quick! There is a flea market with vintage stuff on Sunday morning in the large city near you. You can pass in both normal and Hipster society without much notice.

11-20 points: Full fledged Hipster. Your handsewn, horween leather wallet is on its way with pocket chain attached.

21-1,000,000: Its over, you have made it to Level 10, Elite Hipster status. As Andrew would say, buy some mustache wax and sit in the mustache growing chair at Best Made's New York store.

Just so you know, I scored a 5. I like craft beer. I like bourbon better, but that just makes me a redneck. Oh man, which is worse: redneck or hipster? Time to do some more research.